Saturday, October 13, 2007

...101 uNdIsClOsEd ItEmS...

1. im getting married soon & im sooo nervous
2. i was the 1st one in my fam 2 graduate from college
3. i was the 1st 1 in my fam to pursue a masters degree (i graduate in 6 months)
4. my fiance is a different race then me & we still have to deal with adversity from my fam
5. im terrified of being a mom b/c i dont want to screw up my childs life
6. im worried that my fiance will be more of a friend then a father to our kids
7. i had some of the best times of my life at college

8. i did lots of things that i regret while at college
9. my fav color is blue
10. i hate what i look like naked but my fiance says its his fav view of me
11. it makes me angry when people ask me about my ex (when im with my fiance)
12. i use my bestfriends life as a guideline for how i want my future to look
13. i love to wrestle with my fiance
14. i feel most comfortable in "flash dance socks", sweats and a hoodie
15. i love havin burpin contests with my fiance
16. i wish i wasnt so intimidating to people
17. sometimes i wish people would give me a break from always being the strong one
18. sometimes i get sick of having to work so hard, to do well
19. i love to dance around my house in "flash dance socks", panties and a tank top
20. i worry that i dont cry enough
21. i hate that people ask me if i am "psychoanalysing" them, just because im a psychologist
22. i love to sing
23. i wish i had the courage to pursue singing as a career
24. i always dreamed of singing the national anthem at a baseball game (so i can say "lets play ball" at the end)
25. i used to sing the national anthem (occasionally) at basketball games where i went to college
26. i sang the national anthem at an open mic night in a bar b/c my friend bet a shot & a beer i didnt know the words
27. i am starting to love scrapbooking
28. i have a hard time giving people 2nd chances
29. i overanalyze everything...everything
30. i hate meditating because i cant get my thoughts to stop racing
31. i love to eat tacos...i could eat them everyday for the rest of my life and be content
32. i hate doing laundry & cleaning the bathroom
33. i wish my mother wasnt so selfish
34. my biological father was killed when i was 4 years old
35. my fam made me meet the guy who did it to help me "forgive" him....i NEVER forgave him
36. i worry that my dad is watchin me and is disappointed in what ive done with my life
37. i hate that i feel like i have to prove myself to my biological fathers fam
38. my biggest fear is disappointing myself
39. my 2nd biggest fear is becoming like my mother
40. i struggle with learning how to forgive people for the some of the things theyve done
41. i wish i could have sex every single day
42. sometimes i worry that i enjoy sex way more than i should
43. i love havin sex in the shower, it seems so naughty & erotic
44. i once had sex in an elevator
45. i love to laugh
46. i fear that i dont laugh enough
47. i try to pretend that i dont care about what other people think of me
48. it really bothers me when people think im a mean person
49. i wish that our world wasnt so stuck on race & class
50. i get sick of having to prove myself because of my sex & my color
51. i hate astrology
52. i get really annoyed when people find out my zodiac sign then try to relate to me by telling me their sign
53. it really bothers me when people have no desire to further their education (even if its just readin the newspaper)
54. i hate it when people look down on manual laborers
55. i think everyone should spend the day working as a garbage collector to humble themselves
56. i always wanted to be a mail carrier so when i got angry i could threaten to "go postal"
57. there are 7 things ive done in my life that ive never forgiven myself for
58. before i die i hope to get that list down to at least 3
59. i love to watch forensic crime shows so i can learn how to kill people & get away with it
60. id like to completely redo our judicial system
61. i hate being alone because it forces me to think about all the painful things ive dealt with in my life
62. i was molested by an uncle for several years when i was younger
63. i told my grandmother and she didnt believe me
64. i never forgave her for that
65. i worry that my life is passing me by cuz im so busy all the time
66. my knee is screwed up and it will cause me problems for the rest of my life
67. i regret not having the surgery to correct it when i had the chance
68. i love to sit around and watch old movies
69. i am jealous of people who already have all the things that i want
70. i get very angry when people complain about not having material things
71. i worry that im going to go through life without making a difference
72. i wish i was able to be more emotional
73. when i am emotional i get angry because i dont know how to handle it
74.i went to college still dating my high school boyfriend
75. that is one of the things that i regret about college
76. i have a lot of "friends"
77. i only have one quality friend
78. i wish i wouldve taken dance classes as a child
79. i feel like im wasting my talents
80. i worry that i will never make my grandmother happy
81. im angry that i have to prove myself to my grandmother
82. ive only felt unconditional love by 3 people in my life
83. one of those 3 people is my best friend (thank u. S-4-L)
84. i worry that i spend so much time takin care of others that i never let anyone take care of me
85. im allergic to coconut
86. once when i was depressed, i decided to drink a lot of pina coladas
87. after my 3rd pina colada i gave up on giving up and took some benadryl
88. people in my profession have the highest divorce rate in america
89. i am terrified that my marriage will end in divorce
90. im envious of people who can lay around and let others take care of them
91. i like to mix random things with different kinds of alcohol to see what tastes better
92. i hate that i had to waste my adolescent years raising my siblings
93. i love to cook & bake; my family calls me betty crocker
94. especially when i do everything from scratch
95. people who act helpless annoy me
96. i hate it when people act like they are better than others...we are ALL people
97. i hate when people talk down about public education
98. i worry that im not making the right career choice
99. i feel pressured when others put me in the position of a leader
100. when i was younger i dreamed of becoming a famous poet
101. yesterday i wrote a poem for the 1st time in 9 years & ive never felt more at ease

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